I Promise You Won't Learn A Thing From This Blog

The official blog for author Ashley Chappell. Check back every week for a few laughs at my expense or, if you know the love-hate process that is writing, commiseration.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Why Geico Hates Election Season

**Disclaimer** Don’t run away in fear: this will not be a political blog entry. There are enough people doing that already who are far more qualified to offer an opinion than I am. However, since there are also enough people doing that who are far LESS qualified than I am (or than your average bottle opener for that matter), don’t think that it might not happen one day....

The 2012 Presidential Primaries are a staggering 8 months away. Granted, in my mind any time is far too soon, but 8 months still a respectable distance out. Especially considering the Republican contenders are still circling the wagons and vying for the best position to see who can throw their hat the farthest into the ring. In fact, it’s early enough yet that I still feel a certain margin of safety in turning on the television or opening the newspaper without being bombarded with highly contrived political ads. (Yes, for all wiki-wizards out there I am aware of the bias inherent in that statement)

So imagine my surprise this morning on my way to work when I saw a proud member of one of the parties walking to the front of his lawn with a presidential yard sign in one hand and a mallet in the other. There was even a sort of smug bounce to his step as though his proactive turf side campaigning were something that his neighbors would surely envy, much as they might a new garden gnome or set of pink flamingoes.

What I also noticed as I passed was that he was on his way to give it pride of placement; in other words, that sweet spot on a lawn next to a driveway that A) makes it impossible to miss and B) makes it impossible to miss the driver backing out of said driveway who couldn’t see you coming down the road because of said yard sign.

Apparently, there is a science to yard sign placement and getting the most attention drawn to your sign instead of your neighbor’s sign who, although otherwise being mostly an alright kinda chap, seems to want to vote for that other guy. The truly successful have learned that the most effective placement is to plaster them like a political flood wall on corner lots and near as many road merges, driveways, and parking lots as humanly possible. That way when the ensuing wrecks occur due to the philosophical blind spots, drivers will have LOTS of time to sit and absorb the cardboard political debate while awaiting the tow truck, police and/or ambulance.

Every time you hear sirens in your neighborhood this election season, go ahead and chalk another one up for the lawn-chair politico next door.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous1:51 PM

    LOL! You must have been in my neighborhood this morning. My neighbor put up his Obama signs WEEKS ago!


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