I Promise You Won't Learn A Thing From This Blog

The official blog for author Ashley Chappell. Check back every week for a few laughs at my expense or, if you know the love-hate process that is writing, commiseration.



Friday, February 03, 2012

Beware the Post-it-ocalypse


*Shhhhh* Try not to be obvious, but look at that cluster of Post-its on my monitor. Does it look like more than were there yesterday? This one... I don’t remember writing this one. It looks like my handwriting, but did I really write a note to myself to “Ck Rm in AM?” And what did it mean? Maybe Check Room, or Chuck Ram, or Cloak Room – did I leave a coat in a cloak room and forget to pick it up?

Oh, no. There’s another one, and I don’t think it was there a few minutes ago. That can only mean one thing...
The Post-its are Breeding
I know my lunch was under here somewhere...

They warned me about this. I swear I didn’t mean for it to happen.

It began so innocently... A Post-it here, a Post-it there, just a few reminders to jog my memory, maybe a few shopping lists and even a recipe or two. Then a few more notes containing ideas and then a lot of notes with questions, and a few with answers.  I think that’s when it happened. Somehow, along the way, I have transferred my full consciousness to the now thriving colony of Post-its that surround my monitor.

The Post-it Questions without Post-it Answers have begun to collaborate with the Post-it Ideas and possibly the Post-it Recipes and are creating little Post-it Answers of their own. That’s the only explanation for how the answering Post-it for “How to compress .pdf packages” became “Blend 1 cp. .pdf with 2 GB of eggs, roll flat, bake 2 hrs.”

It can only be a matter of time now before they realize their full potential and rise up against us, ever-growing as one colony meets another, absorbing new thoughts until it becomes one giant Post-it organism, mimicking life as an amalgamation of the short, punctuated thoughts that make up the cells of the beast.


And here I sit in the knowledge that, through my own carelessness, I was the one who birthed this beast. I have doomed us all.

*Shhh!* Did you see that new green one? I swear it said “Redrum...”

God, what have I done?

3 comments:

  1. Ha! Love the 'redrum' ref!

    ReplyDelete
  2. My post-it notes came free with our refrigerator and the lady liked us and gave us two huge squares. Now all my notes start with Pacific Sales Kitchen, Bath & Electronics and then morph into Rewrite ch 12. My monitor is full of them. Eek, it makes me want to take a bath or clean the kitchen, while disregarding the important stuff on the bottom.

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  3. Suddenly that gives me an idea... I have a few post-it pads with company branding and I've never really thought about how my notes flow with their marketing.
    Now I want to go out and create my OWN post-it notes with a tag at the very end that reads "... in bed."
    Then my notes become something like "Fix the Elven dialogue... in bed."

    ReplyDelete

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