I Promise You Won't Learn A Thing From This Blog

The official blog for author Ashley Chappell. Check back every week for a few laughs at my expense or, if you know the love-hate process that is writing, commiseration.

Monday, April 30, 2012

What I Learned During My Blogger Vacation

Sad Puppy
The Beginning – In Which I Apologize Profusely

I know, I know, I’ve been gone a very long time. I decided completely without warning to take the month of April off from blogging in order to catch up on projects and work at home and that was not very nice of me. What makes it worse is that during that time off I managed to not catch up on projects so much as I did on Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series. Color me obsessed, I admit it freely. I’m a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad person.

The Climax – In Which You Avoid The Temptation To Make an Inappropriate Joke About This Quick Climax

I can at the very least say that, while my to-do list barely suffered a dent, I learned many small lessons during my blogging hiatus; some consequential to others. There are so many things I’d love to share with you, but I’ll kindly reduce it to a Top Ten list and spare you the juiceless details:

  1. Groupon in my area seems to be obsessed with Hair Removal and Belly Dancing lessons.
  2. If I keep making pots of tea I’m less likely to snack at work.
  3. My bladder holds nowhere near 3 pots of tea.
  4. Barn swallows would make excellent guided missiles during mating season.
  5. My cat, who is afraid of EVERYTHING (including barn swallows), will go exploring and lead me on a miserable week-long search when he escapes the fence.
  6. I can’t trust the estimated fuel range on my car.
  7. When I trust the estimated fuel range on my car and consequently run out of gas, Mary Kay ladies are nice enough to stop and help out.
  8. I now have a full new complement of much-needed Mary Kay products.
  9. Installing tongue and groove pine on a ceiling is slow and painful work.
  10. Tongue and groove ceilings – once the aches and pains of installation have passed – are freaking gorgeous.

The Dénouement – In Which A Promise Is Made

I wish I could promise that I would be a faithful blogger from now on, but as of right now the best I can promise (and deliver, anyway) is that I will do my very best to stick with my Thursday blogs. I entered the blogging world with high hopes and good intentions, but the reality of real-life juggling set in and I discovered that though the road to Hell is paved with those Good Intentions, the sign posts are all High Hopes.

However, I can leave you with the promise of a blog update tomorrow as well as an announcement. And no, begging me to tell will not work. You’ll just have to wait to see until tomorrow, and that’s when I’ll find out if you have forgiven me for my breach and come back to see what news I have to share.

Until then, friends, I will (hopefully) see you tomorrow!


  1. Nice to have you back!! I know what you mean about tea (or for me, coffee) can help you in avoiding the snacks at work. I find that gum helps too. Except when I see peanut butter cups. Very little can keep me from that temptation.

  2. Thanks, Nicole, it's nice to be back! I wish I could say I had just one weakness - peanut butter cups would definitely be among them, but when the sweet tooth hits I don't discriminate against lesser confections :-)

  3. Very funny Ashley about the Mary Kay ladies and the tongue in groove stuff. I also think that little dog picture is adorable! Welcome back.

  4. No need to apologize. I hope you got a lot done in that time. :)


"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Ken Blanchard